Chronic Pain Rights & Responsibilities

Laughing, Loving, and Living With Chronic Pain and Illness

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Suicide Over Pain- Telling My Brothers Story Because he can’t

How Doctors Killed My Brother

On August 29th 2018 our house phone rang at 4 am, we ignored it thinking more than likely it was a wrong number because no one we know would call at that time and if they did for some reason they would leave a message. When the machine picked up the caller hung up without doing so and we assumed just that it was a wrong number. So with my husband and I having only about two hours sleep before getting up to start the day  attempted to fall back asleep.

A minute or two later my husband got out of bed for some water and I turned over to get comfortable thats when my cell phone rang. This made me realize something was wrong because the calls were minutes apart and the chances of wrong numbers at both our home and my cell were slim to none.

When I picked up…

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Please #MakeYourVoiceHeard! Now is the chance! Along with esteemed speakers, I’ll be speaking on behalf of the chronic pain community! Come out and rally!


flier3UPDATE FROM HHS REQUESTING TO HEAR FROM CHRONIC PAIN PATIENTS: I spoke with Thomas Novotny, Assistant Secretary to Sylvia Burwell, this morning and I as assured that our voices are being heard, but THEY NEED TO SEE US AND HEAR FROM US. He agreed with me that it is difficult for chronic pain patients to get out, but said, in essence, that’s the way it is. He said they need to SEE US AND HEAR US.



Novotny, Thomas (HHS/OASH) (HHS/OASH) <>; Stevenson, Monica…

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A Wife’s Cries for Help on a Sunday Afternoon … And a Message for Chris Christie




junk-copyJust received a phone call from a sobbing 54 year old Anita in New Jersey.  Her initial response to my return of her voice mail was to break out sobbing hysterically.  She tells me “I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I have him on a suicide all the time.  He doesn’t want to live like this.”  She settled down enough to talk. Her 57 year old husband, George, was a renal transplant recipient about 5 years ago.  As a result, he developed severe neuropathy and is riddled with arthritis.  He was functioning pretty well on the pain management program which he adhered to strictly prior to the CDC guidelines. He was a heavy equipment operator for the State of New Jersey and was even a scuba diver while he was on a regimen of exercise, good diet…

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Kolodny’s Phoenix House drug rehab spun out of control

Part II of the Expose of Kolondy’s “Six Degrees of Separation” Where is mainstream media on this?!

EDS and Chronic Pain News & Info

Celebrated drug rehab center spun out of control, Reuters finds

In my previous post, PROP conflict of interest in Phoenix House rehabs, I explain how the president of PROP is the medical director of this shady business.

Belle Terre, the former home of a 19th-century copper baron, housed the 168-bed Phoenix House Delaware County Center, a private, nonprofit residential drug treatment facility. When Szczupak arrived in June 2012, all was not well behind Belle Terre’s stately walls.

In the two years prior to Szczupak’s arrival, New York’s Office of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Services (OASAS) had twice closed Belle Terre to new admissions after inspectors discovered illegal drug use, insufficient treatment and bad record-keeping, among many other regulatory violations. In each case, Belle Terre resumed admissions after Phoenix House submitted a “corrective action plan” to regulators.  

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PROP conflict of interest in Phoenix House rehabs

THIS IS IT!! I have been writing and discussing the “Six degrees (or fewer!) of separation” between Kolondy and ANY anti-opioid movement in this country, now y’all can call me a conspiracy theorist, but I’m not the only one!!

EDS and Chronic Pain News & Info

Doctor: Overprescribing contributing to opiate epidemic – News – – Hyannis, MA

Here are the radical and unscientific views of the president of PROP, which dovetail with his business interest: the corrupt and government-financed rahab/recovery industry.

Dr. Andrew Kolodny would not win a popularity contest with many others in the medical field. “I cross lines, in my interactions with my colleagues,” he said.

It’s disturbing when the leader of a the campaign against giving pain patients relief shows pride in his inability to get along with others.  

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Update: Changes In The Works

To everyone who follows me and everyone who has stopped in and read a piece or two, thank you for your interest. I will continue to post here on occasion, but as I do not get as much exposure here as I do on other sites, you will likely see pieces I’ve written for, The Mighty, International Pain Foundation (where I am a Delegate, now), and other pain and health sites. I also need to inform you that this is no longer a Fibromyalgia blog only. At the time I began this blog, I had been diagnosed with Endometriosis, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, chronic Migraines, and Uterine Fibroids.

Since then, I have spent a total of about three months (broken up into a week or two at a time) and have acquired a long list of new diagnoses. This list includes Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), also known as RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy), This neuro-autoimmune disease is one which effects one’s entire Central and Autonomic nervous systems, as well as many other bodily systems. It is not at all well known or well understood by doctors, and it is extremely difficult to convince doctors to educate themselves, or allow the patient to educate them.

Also, after a year of acute attacks of pain, post gallbladder removal surgery, I was convinced (by the location and specifics of my pain and symptoms) that I had Chronic Pancreatitis. However, after too many ER visits to count, where I was of course called a drug-seeker, and released, I finally developed a measurable symptom…the doctors didn’t tell me that, though. They simply said they wanted to keep me in the hospital for further observation and pain control. Just as one of the hospitalists was entering my room to tell me I would be discharged on the third day, I overheard the nurse saying that my liver enzymes where over 3000. I stopped the doctor mid “Goodbye speech,” and told him I was concerned about my elevated liver enzymes. He angrily asked me how I knew about that! Long-story short, I was kept for another week, ultimately receiving an ERCP with sphincterotomy. I was then diagnosed with Sphincter of Oddi Dysfunction.

I suffered another year, in and out of the ER and hospital, being dismissed as someone with “Chronic Abdominal Pain.” Until finally I went to a biliary specialist, who did another ERCP and placed stents in my liver and pancreas. I remained hospitalized for a week, finally getting the confirmation that I do in fact suffer from Chronic Pancreatitis. Consequently, I was hospitalized again, because the stent in my pancreas was causing a major attack (none of this EVER showed up on blood tests or imaging, by the way. So, if you think you might be suffering from any of thee conditions, PUSH until you get a diagnosis! But, be prepared to be accused of drug seeking and mental conditions, because doctors no longer use symptoms as a means if diagnosis. If it doesn’t show on a test, you don’t have it. Period. But, if you keep pushing, you’ll finally get the test that shows something. For me it was the ERCP. I’ve als developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and/or peripheral neuropathy–the diagnosis is still out on that one, too. I have become quite outspoken in the advocacy world, as a Delegate for the International Pain Foundation (formerly Power of Pain), as well as the Kentucky Pain Care Action Network, and as a regular columnist for

Dear America, Here’s What You Missed in CNN’s Town Hall

Dear Anderson Cooper & CNN Your “Prescription Addiction” Town Hall was so disappointedly one-sided.

Dear CNN and Anderson Cooper,

I am contacting you because as a former professor of Communication Arts, Writer and Filmmaker, I rely on CNN to be the network where “…the reporters, producers, editors and writers at CNN aim for comprehensive journalism. In their news coverage, they strive to present the whole story, fairly and completely, so that readers and viewers may come to their own conclusions. And in their presentation of opinion and analysis, they strive to represent a range of viewpoints…

Comprehensive journalism also means that we do not let our financial interests determine the topics we cover. Our reporters, producers, writers and editors cover issues that are newsworthy and of interest to our readers and viewers, not because an issue may be of interest to advertisers,” as Time Warner’s Statement of Journalistic Integrity claims that CNN does. As a long time chronic pain patient, patient advocate, pain writer/researcher, regular Columnist at, and Delegate to International Pain Foundation, I am one of ONE HUNDRED MILLION pain patients whose voices are being completely left out of this narrative. Out of these 100 million, many of us need access to opioid pain medications in order to function on a daily basis. Not because we’re addicted, but because we have legitimate, ’round-the-clock treatment needs, for our moderate to severe pain.

I am contacted daily by patients who are absolutely desperate because they cannot obtain proper pain treatment, or because their meds have been so severely cut or completely withdrawn, because their doctors (even pain doctors) “Are afraid they’ll lose their licenses,” and they can no longer function. I am one of the many who need a level of morphine equivalent, which is much higher than the CDC’s “Recommended Daily Morphine Equivalent Dosage.” I and many of these patients (NOT addicts) see two options if we cannot get the necessary medications—seek relief in the form of street drugs, or commit suicide. It is that simple.

It is abundantly clear that the opioid witch-hunt is quickly snowballing into the new American genocide for those of us who rely on opioid pain medication to have any quality of life, whatsoever. I am not ignoring the problem this country has with addiction, but pain and addiction are two separate issues, and must be treated with two very separate approaches. I am not pushing opioids, just a patient’s right to utilize them to their fullest extent of effectiveness, and I’m an advocate of the doctor/patient decision-making process, over the governmental, media, and special anti-opioid interest groups deciding what patients’ treatment should or should not be.

As for the “recommended therapies,” exercise, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, etc., and the “Preferred treatments,” NSAIDs, Tylenol, Neurontin, etc. These are all things every one of us has tried, and wouldn’t need opioids if they worked as singular treatment. Most of us still use some of them…in conjunction with opioids. Because as almost any doctor will tell you, chronic pain is complicated, and best treated with a multimodal approach. Without the opioids, we cannot get out of bed to do or take the adjunct therapies. There is some uncertainty as to the efficacy of opioids for long-term chronic non-cancer pain. However, there is absolutely no proof that they are ineffective, and if you ask any one of us who has been on them for a long time, and still take them, it’s because we NEED them, and they work for us. They make our lives a bearable place. Believe me when I say, NO ONE would go through the stigma, shame, and discrimination that we do if they didn’t have to.

Additionally, there IS plenty of research that shows many of these other medications to be far worse in side effects and long-term effects than opioids. Also, there is a distinct difference between addiction and dependence, and the media, government, and medical community has completely overlooked this essential difference in diagnosis. Dependence occurs with many medications which are prescribed prolifically, like SSRI’s, anticonvulsants (like Lyrica and Neurontin), even life-saving medications like insulin cause physical dependence. Chronic pain patients are shown to be highly unlikely to become addicted to opioids, and in fact do not experience the euphoria that addicts crave. They simply experience some degree of relief.

I have spoken out loudly and frequently–in articles I’ve written, comments I’ve made to the CDC, letters to government officials, and so on, only to continue to watch as my pain support system, my doctors, my government, my media all shut me out of my own critical life decisions. It is terrifying how quickly this non-epidemic (compared to other causes of death-Between 1999 and 2014 over 8,000,000 died from the use/abuse of Alcohol & Nicotine.. over 5,000,000 died from medical errors. 700,000 committed suicide…700,000 die from hospital & nursing home acquired MRSA & C-Dif. Almost 194,000 died from prescription drug overdoses) is consuming our culture, filling the minds of the many with the bullied bias against the few, while the pandemic of pain continues to eviscerate American citizens. This is the time for the media, especially CNN and Anderson Cooper to step in and be the voice for those who cannot compete with the multi-million dollar anti-opioid campaign that is taking away Americans’ basic human rights to “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

We have all read and heard statistic that “Over 16,000 people dying every year from opioid overdose.” This number has been hammered into our heads as the opioid “epidemic,” I read it quoted in a New York Times article just last week. Two things are ironically and consistently left out–This statistic is from 2011 (since then, the number has gone down significantly) and, the CDC ADMITTEDLY SKEWED THE NUMBERS!

“The CDC study is based on a review of death certificates and didn’t sort out legitimate opioid prescriptions, illegal use of opioids, suicide, deaths caused by alcohol or other medications, or even if the death was truly from opioids and not from some other disease process. Did the patient die from lung cancer or opioid toxicity? Sometimes the latter is entered as the cause of death when it is not the case.”
A close reading of the CDC study also turns up something else. Other medications, particularly anti-depressants, sedatives, anti-anxiety and other mental health drugs, often were involved in the overdoses — not just opioids. To quote from the study: “Opioids were frequently implicated in overdose deaths involving other pharmaceuticals. They were involved in the majority of deaths involving benzodiazepines (77.2%), anti-epileptic and anti-parkinsonism drugs (65.5%), anti-psychotic and neuroleptic drugs (58%), anti-depressants (57.6%), other analgesics, anti-pyretics, and anti-rheumatics (56.5%), and other psychotropic drugs (54.2%).

Why do we never hear about an “epidemic” of deaths from anti-depressants or sedatives? Because in all of the deaths involving multiple drugs, only opioids are singled out as the cause of death. In a recent survey of pharmacists and drug wholesalers by the General Accounting Office (GAO), over half said DEA enforcement actions had limited their ability to supply drugs to legitimate patients. Many said they were fearful of being fined or having their licenses revoked. You won’t see that story being reported in The New York Times or Los Angeles Times because the CDC and DEA aren’t churning out press releases about it.” (

I urge you to read some of the articles that I and others have written on, which demonstrate true journalism, and provide you with information which could lead to the REAL reasons for this opioid hysteria–if you don’t already know. I encourage you to be the network that tells the WHOLE truth, and shows Americans all sides of this story. It has truly become a Civil Rights Issue, which deserves your attention.

According to the Journal of American Society of Anesthesiology, “the unreasonable failure to treat pain is poor medicine, unethical practice, and is an abrogation of a fundamental human right.” So, please endorse the chronic pain community by loudly and clearly speaking out against the invalidation of people with pain, illness, and disability, and help us stop this genocide against the vulnerable members of our society. I am not asking you to “endorse opioids,” just to tell the story of the millions who suffer already, and are being further stigmatized and marginalized.


Emily Ullrich
International Pain Foundation

My Letter To CNN

As usual, Suzanne Burnett says everything so elloquently!!

Contact Us—Share Your Story Ideas

Contact Us—Share Your Story Ideas. As a sufferer of chronic and intractable pain myself, and an Ambassador for US Pain Foundation, I feel compelled to address the “elephant in the room” of American health care…chronic pain. The stereotype of people in pain as lazy, useless members of society, who “get high” and don’t try to get better has got to stop. We, the people who struggle with every breath of every day, are the ones who now also have to fight this fight. We have to stand up to the bullies of the government, corporations, and media, who perpetuate stereotypes which have become so socially acceptable that for the most part, compassion no longer exists. If children or pets in America were being treated the way that chronic pain patients are (denied care, accused of being criminals, and countless more human rights violations) we as a society would NEVER put up with it. We would be outraged, we would protest, we would make our voices heard until the poor children or animals were treated with the compassion they deserved. So, why aren’t we doing the same for adult human beings, who have been our parents, teachers, and even health care providers who so desperately need help?

Things not to say to someone with a chronic illneess

I have been diagnosed with this illness (among others!) and would appreciate if those who care about me would read about it:)

Blueberries For Me

I have received a lot of well-intentioned comments on my being diagnosed with interstitial cystitis over the past few years. Because it’s a rare and unknown disease, most people didn’t know what to say, and quite a few of the comments weren’t what I needed to hear in the place I was in at that moment. I don’t begrudge people for trying, but I thought it might help to share a few thoughts on things not to say to someone with a chronic illness.

1. I would die if I had to live like that.

No, you wouldn’t. This one I might hate the most, because to me it sounds a little like “your life isn’t worth living.” You would adjust and adapt, and it might suck, but you wouldn’t die. Chronic illnesses can require a lot of lifestyle adjustments, particularly for ones that aren’t currently curable or treatable by…

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